It seems pregnancy means I have been a major slacker when it comes to my blog!
My last post described the scan I had almost a ftn ago. Since then we returned to the FS for a scan last Thursday. My FS was able to measure the embryo at 7 weeks 1 day, which means we picked up a day since the scan the week before. We were also able to hear the heartbeat this time with the Doppler. It sounded so cool. We also got another couple of pics to take home.
Towards the end of the scan my FS said that he saw something else..............I was like 'Here it is! Its the 2nd embryo we are meant to have and it was hiding in the first scan!' I said to him 'Oh oh that doesn't sound good!'
Anyways he saw what he thought was a second embryo, yolk and sac, with no heartbeat, somewhere other than my uterus! Scary to say the least. He said that if it was, which he wasn't sure of, at least it didn't have a heartbeat and hopefully it would deteriorate on its own and not cause any dramas. However understandably he referred me for an urgent scan with an obstetrician in his building for later that day.
The obstetrician had a much more high-tech ultrasound and heaps better set up. They did the internal scan and looked at every inch of my lower abdomen. They checked out embie and measured it again. This time measuring at 7 weeks 3 days, which is only 2 days off where I should be if you go by my LMP rather then when I probably ovulated in my cycle. I will always remember the technician saying that it was a 'fantastic looking foetus.' She probably says that to everyone but I tell myself that now when I have a weird pain, or spot of pink etc.
After looking at embie they measured each of my ovaries. Determining that the right one was double the size it should be and the left was larger than it should be - but not as close to double. They advised I had a cyst on one ovary and two follies on the other one. They also showed us all of the free fluid I had floating around in there. From this we determined that my hyperstim from two months ago had probably flared up again due to the pregnancy hormones which explains the conditions of the ovaries and the free fluid. It also explains my baby belly when I shouldn't have one yet - I'm actually losing weight, not gaining it! So what my FS saw was most likely the cyst on my ovary.
So anyways as of today I am 8 weeks 3 days pregnant and counting my blessings every second of every day. I cannot for the life of me believe that I've gotten this far and still think it will all be taken away from me at any second. I think this has definitely curbed my excitement about the pregnancy as for some strange reason I must think that if I don't get excited or show too much happiness about being pregnant, if it all gets taken away from me it won't be as hard! I know that's not true!
I love this lil embie and want it to stay and I beg with whoever is listening every day that i want it to stay and be the one that makes us a family.
Symptoms wise I feel 'off' at various times throughout the day - I can't really predict when or if. I have lil lower back niggles. I pee more regularly. Can never predict what I feel like eating or when. Sometimes at dinner time I'll be so hungry I eat too much and feel over full, and other times I'll barely eat more than a few mouthfuls. I have constipation which is probably a result of not just the pregnancy but also that lovely side effect of hyperstim...........rrrrrggggggggggghhh. So for the last week or so I've incorporated a glass of pear juice at dinner time, and fresh fruit each day for lunch. I'll also snack on dried apricots. I've totally gone off coffee, and chocolate, and some other normal things I was eating before I was pregnant like sultana's and crackers.
I will try and post again in the next couple of days. Wish I had a scan coming up soon. 12 weeks is way to long to have to wait!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Pregnancy update
Since Tuesday I have not had any more spotting by the way of red blood. I have had a couple of instances of a brownish colour when I wipe after going to the toilet, but nothing bad enough to go on a pad etc.
I have begun to in the last day or so feel not so good on and off most of the day now, rather than just in the evenings like pretty much all of last week.
On Friday morning we had a scan with my FS which revealed a embryo with a heartbeat that measured at 6wks 1 day. I was meant to be 7 weeks today, however taking into account my regularly long cycles, I probably did ovulate late and hence the embryo is hopefully right on track. My FS totally agreed with this, however said he wanted to do another scan next week just to check that it is still on track and growing at the right rate.
I was so scared having that scan, my legs were shaking so bad that it was hard for the FS to get a clear picture- one that wasn't shaking. My husband and I are so excited that this time round we got to see the little flutter of a heartbeat on the screen, although it wasn't quite strong enough to pick up the sound on the doppler.
We got three lil pics of the embryo, so on the way home we stopped in and bought two lil frames to put them in and have put one each on each of our bedside tables.
My FS advised that once they have detected a heartbeat you have an 85% chance of the pregnancy continuing healthily. Which at first I thought sounded like great odds, but its only really 5% more of a chance of the whole 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage odds.
Does it count that I've already had 2 from 2 miscarriages???? I wish it did!
I would give anything for this pregnancy to be the one that makes us a family and hope that whoever the powers that be that are in charge are listening!
I have begun to in the last day or so feel not so good on and off most of the day now, rather than just in the evenings like pretty much all of last week.
On Friday morning we had a scan with my FS which revealed a embryo with a heartbeat that measured at 6wks 1 day. I was meant to be 7 weeks today, however taking into account my regularly long cycles, I probably did ovulate late and hence the embryo is hopefully right on track. My FS totally agreed with this, however said he wanted to do another scan next week just to check that it is still on track and growing at the right rate.
I was so scared having that scan, my legs were shaking so bad that it was hard for the FS to get a clear picture- one that wasn't shaking. My husband and I are so excited that this time round we got to see the little flutter of a heartbeat on the screen, although it wasn't quite strong enough to pick up the sound on the doppler.
We got three lil pics of the embryo, so on the way home we stopped in and bought two lil frames to put them in and have put one each on each of our bedside tables.
My FS advised that once they have detected a heartbeat you have an 85% chance of the pregnancy continuing healthily. Which at first I thought sounded like great odds, but its only really 5% more of a chance of the whole 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage odds.
Does it count that I've already had 2 from 2 miscarriages???? I wish it did!
I would give anything for this pregnancy to be the one that makes us a family and hope that whoever the powers that be that are in charge are listening!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Reassuring results
Since Sunday I managed to make it all through Monday, couch bound without any spotting! I was very happy with myself! I went to see the GP and advised of my Sunday spotting and asked for another two HCG tests. I also got my scan with my FS brought forward from next week to this Friday when I should be 6 weeks 6 days and am praying for a healthy heartbeat!
In the early hours of this morning at approx 3am I got up to go to the loo and had a light brownish discharge when I wiped. Needless to say my husband and I found it very hard to go back to sleep, worried that it was the start of more bleeding, so I had today off work as well - couch bound.
I had my HCG test this morning at 8.30am and called for the results this afternoon. The reading was 30 866. Which at first made my heart sink because it was my understanding that the results are meant to double every 48hrs meaning my results should have been over 70 000.
My husband decided to use a online HCG calculator where we got some reassuring results that as the pregnancy develops the HCG levels slow down. For example when your reading is over 6000 the HCG level may take 4 or more days to double. This calculation puts me right on track with my result.
I am still taking it one day at a time, just happy to make it through another day - hopefully still being pregnant. I can't wait til Friday for the scan to know one way or another.
Who would have thought being pregnant would be so scary!
In the early hours of this morning at approx 3am I got up to go to the loo and had a light brownish discharge when I wiped. Needless to say my husband and I found it very hard to go back to sleep, worried that it was the start of more bleeding, so I had today off work as well - couch bound.
I had my HCG test this morning at 8.30am and called for the results this afternoon. The reading was 30 866. Which at first made my heart sink because it was my understanding that the results are meant to double every 48hrs meaning my results should have been over 70 000.
My husband decided to use a online HCG calculator where we got some reassuring results that as the pregnancy develops the HCG levels slow down. For example when your reading is over 6000 the HCG level may take 4 or more days to double. This calculation puts me right on track with my result.
I am still taking it one day at a time, just happy to make it through another day - hopefully still being pregnant. I can't wait til Friday for the scan to know one way or another.
Who would have thought being pregnant would be so scary!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Third time lucky?
I have been putting off writing this next post for one, thinking that I would jinx it, and for two, not wanting to get ahead of myself. However this mornings events have made me realise that I should have been journaling all of this from the very start - to get it all out and not forget anything.
So at Day 35 of my last cycle I did a pregnancy test. I decided to do it because i was being retarded and had started to get that niggling feeling and ridiculous hopefulness that my period was late for a reason, IE that I had somehow, inexplicably fallen pregnant and I didn't want to get my hopes up any further than what they already were.
So to both my and my husbands HUGE surprise we were pregnant - naturally - on a break from IVF. I did two tests - to be sure, and they both really quickly came up with a thick, dark second line!!!!
Looking back on the days leading up to doing the test I remember that one night I woke with a 'headache' type pain in my middle lower abdomen, and I also recall the slightest trace of pinkish coloured mucus when I went to the toilet on a different day.
When I showed my husband the two positive tests his jaw totally dropped - we were both genuinely so surprised that we had fallen pregnant on our own. I cried that morning too, because I was so scared to be pregnant, scared of the possibility of it not working out again. That is the scariest thing I know.
So that was Friday 24th October. I went to the GP that morning and she gave me to referrals to have my HCG levels checked (at my request) because I knew I was in for a stressful time and anything that could make the coming weeks less stressful was healthier for me and the embryo.
My HCG levels on Saturday 25th October were 2100+ and 47 hours later on Monday 27th October they had more than doubled to 4800+. We were both super happy with these results!!!
I continued to be very cautiously excited though, carefully examining the toilet paper after i had wiped for any little trace of pink and taking it super easy in the afternoons when I would come home from work. I would over analyse every little pain and niggle wondering if it would signal the end of this pregnancy. I kept telling myself to be positive and that this could be 3rd time lucky?
I continued with my acupuncture each Friday as I felt this really contributed to me falling pregnant naturally in the first place, and thought it too would be the best thing for the embryo to continue on its journey.
By Friday 01st October I was confident I had developed an UTI and made an appointment to see a GP first thing Saturday morning. With a urine sample the GP confirmed the infection and prescribed me with Keflex - 3 per day until they were all gone. I know that UTI's are common during pregnancy and that antibiotics would be prescribed - so I was fine with it.
Which brings me to today. This morning I have had the first signs of everything going south. I have had some spots of bright red blood and the tiniest clot pass by lunchtime today. I am totally devastated. I had really hoped that this pregnancy would be the one for us and that we were leaving the whole drama of infertility behind us....maybe, maybe not.
I am now confining myself to the couch for the entire day and will drag myself off to the GP tomorrow and request another two referrals for HCG levels - 48hours apart. By now they should be over 40 000 and then the next double that.
I am praying that we are still 3rd time lucky and that my bleeding was just a small one off bleed and I'm good to go.
I know that if the worse happens I am going to be ok. I will survive it and one day get the strength back to try again. It just totally sucks.
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