Still dusting myself off

Its now Friday, Day 30 of the disastrous cycle from hell.

I fear my belly is back to its normal size, although I would love to loose an extra few cm's off of it (shouldn't I get something out of this whole ordeal?). My weight has gone down to what it was before this cycle started 30 days ago. I'm slowing down on the whole drinking my weight in fluids each day and actually sleeping through the night without having to go to the toilet numerous times.

Hmmmmm I'm sounding a little bitter.............Well I am and I feel I have every right to be for now anyways.

I'm sensing my period is a matter of days away if not hours and that once that is done for its time for the grieving and being bitter and depressed time to be over and to get up and get going again (with life that is - not with IVF.)

I want to get back into exercising and enjoying the odd alcoholic beverage - just because I can. I want to do some hard work in the garden and on my treadmill and not have to watch my caffeine intake! Yay! I want to do some things that will try and make me feel good about myself again, and not that I'm a pathetic mummawannbe who can't get what she wants.

I've made an appointment to go back and see my acupuncturist and will do so each week at least until we start IVF again.

I've also made an appointment to dissect the whole 'disastrous cycle' and discuss plans for a new one with our FS in a couple of weeks.

I went and saw a psychic yesterday who was not able to confirm whether or not I would have my own biological child (which I know she has done for others) and instead told me I need to try and have several doors open ie, biological child is only one door. I went hoping to be told what I had been told before by another psychic, that I would have two boys and a girl, and instead I came away questioning whether i will ever be a mum even more than I was already....

Bit of a sucky time, but I'll get through it, I have before!